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#18 How to overcome Fear of Failure?

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill

Do you want to try something new, meet someone new, or get out of your comfort zone to do something differently, BUT… 

Your fear of failure keeps you from trying, creates self-doubt and then you feel frustrated, disappointed and angry with yourself afterwards…☹️

When you allow fear to stop your forward progress in life, you’re likely to miss some great opportunities along the way.

It’s important to develop better self-awareness so that you know what needs to be changed. 

8 Signs You Might Have a Fear of Failure:

Can you recognise any of the following signs? 

# 1. You worry about what other people think about you.

# 2. You worry about how smart or capable you are.

# 3. You worry that people will lose interest in you.

# 4. You worry about disappointing people whose opinion you value.

# 5. You worry about your ability to pursue the future you desire.

# 6. You tend to tell people beforehand that you don’t expect to succeed in order to lower their expectations.

# 7. You often get last-minute headaches, stomach aches, or other physical symptoms that prevent you from completing your preparation.

# 8. You often procrastinate or get distracted by tasks that prevent you from completing your preparation which, in hindsight, were not as urgent as they seemed at the time.

Once you recognise that you have these signs and/or patterns, what are you going to do about it?

Causes of Fear of Failure:

To find an effective solution to conquer your fear, we first need to understand the causes of your fear of failure.

Fear of failure is often caused by fear of shame or unworthiness. 😔

Trying and failing confirms what one already fears — that one is not good enough. You may often have these negative thoughts or Inner Critic e.g. “I’ll never be good enough to get that promotion,” or “I’m not smart enough to do that…” 

The fear of failing can be immobilizing – it can cause us to do nothing, and therefore resist moving forward.

So, what can you do instead?

What can you do to prevent fear of failure from holding you back?

How to Stop Living in FEAR?

Here are some easy and powerful tips to help you overcome Fear of Failure: 

Tip 1: Understand what is Fear and how you interpret FEAR. 

Write this down, or print out the photo below and post it on your wall.
“FEAR means False Evidence Appearing Real.”

Also, you’re the creator of your own life. It’s up to you to decide how you want to live your life. 

Option A: Forget Everything And Run…

Option B: Face Everything And Rise!

The choice is yours!

(Fear is your own imagination. Don’t create a horror story that doesn’t serve you. Pull back, look at a bigger picture and gain some perspectives.)

Tip 2: But, How about Failure? What is failure? 

“There is such thing no failure, it’s only Feedback!”

It’s feedback and information to help you find a better way to do things, review, adjust and make changes as required.

Success is NOT a straight line!

Tip 3: Focus your time, energy and resources on what’s in your control.

Things NOT in your control? Learn to ACCEPT!

Things IN your control? TAKE ACTION.

Also, this is very important, TRUST YOURSELF. You already have the power within you to achieve anything you want, learn to be resourceful!

Instead of saying “I Can’t…”, ask yourself “HOW can I…?”

Want More Tips? 

Do you want to learn more coaching techniques, practical tips, effective strategies and proven methods to help you overcome your fears, build your confidence, self-worth and skills?

Do you need support and guidance to help you conquer your fears rather than keeping living in fears?

Do you want to fast track your results, get expert experience and insight, blueprint, action plan to achieve what you want in your career/business, relationships, health and other aspects of your life? 

Cyndi can help you!

You can start coaching/counselling with Cyndi NOW. 👍

👉 Cyndi Liang is a certified Self-Worth & EQ Coach, Therapist/Counsellor and NLP Practitioner. Cyndi will give you a totally personalised solution for the best possible results, also guide & support you through your Self-worth & Growth journey! 

RECOMMENDATION FOR YOU: 
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Read client testimonials and success stories here

Get Started or Have a Question?

Simply Book a FREE 30-min call with Cyndi to see how she can help you. 💛

“No matter what you want to achieve, it’s a well-known fact that you’ll always get there faster with support.”

Book a call with Cyndi here NOW!

#17 One Powerful Technique to deal with Frustration / Resentment / Anger

“A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves you a hundred moments of regret.”

You might be experiencing some changes in your life right now… 

It might be a change in your relationship, a change in your friendship, a change in your career, a change in your financial situation, a change in your health, a change in your energy level, a change in your family, a change in your emotions, a change in border restrictions or social isolation that has disrupted everything you have planned for your life, work or traveling…

Whatever that is, you are not used to it, it feels different, you feel uncomfortable but don’t know what to do about it or may find other ways to avoid or suppress the feeling (e.g. drinking, emotional eating, smoking, shopping, addiction etc), you feel that you ‘should’ do something about it but feeling stuck, unmotivated and don’t know how to move on; you feel that other people ‘should’ understand you better and just simply follow what you expected them to do; you feel disappointed, frustrated or even feeling resentful about it.

Basically, the reality turned out painfully different from how you want it! Everything is messed up!

(Or you might say “EVERYTHING IS F@*ked UP!!!”)

I know… it was a painful experience and you want to get out of this trap desperately.

In the heat of the moment, keeping your temper or negative emotions in check can be challenging. you got frustrated with yourself and with others around you and it can take a toll on both your health and your relationships.

But paradoxically, the only way out is THROUGH.

HOW???

Cyndi, what do you mean?

The GOOD NEWS is that I have lots of practical tools, proven methods and effective techniques that I would love to share with you to help you deal with frustration, resentment, anger or any negative emotion in your life. I have seen the results in myself and in my clients and I genuinely want to help you as well!

You can simply get started with just 1 powerful technique!

Just one technique? Seriously?

YES! 1 POWERFUL TECHNIQUE you can learn and apply NOW is called “Find your P.A.T.H.” so you can RESPOND to the situation wisely instead of REACT to it unconsciously. 

In the heat of the moment or when dealing with changes in life,

Find your P.A.T.H. (Pause, Accept, Think, Help)

Pause
“Come from a space of peace and you’ll find that you can deal with anything.” – Michael Singer
Just pause for a moment, take a few deep breaths in and focus on your breathing as you breathe in and out.
I know that you don’t want to say something you’ll later regret, so just take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same. 

CExperiences Practical Exercise: Daily Meditation
Listen to my Guided Meditation “Body Scan Mindfulness Mediation” or “Loving Kindness Meditation” to practice finding your inner peace. 

Accept
“Change is never painful, only the resistance to change is painful.” – Buddha
Accept that change is normal and inevitable in life, but it’s only temporary. The feeling you’re experiencing now will pass. It’s a normal body reaction. There are no good emotions or bad emotions, they are there for a reason. 
But life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. So instead of dwelling on the things that you can not change, ask yourself this 1 important question “Is this in my control or out of my control?”
If it’s in your control, what can you do about it?
If it’s out of your control, learn to accept it. Just flow with it, be patient, and be grateful for what you have. Better days are on the way.

CExperiences Practical Exercise: Daily Gratitude

  • Every morning after you wake up, think of 3 things you’re grateful for in your life or at work.
  • When facing changes/challenges during the day, think of 3 things you’re grateful for at that moment. When you’re grateful for what you have, you have everything you need. 
  • Before going to bed at night, think of 3 things you’re grateful for for the day. You can say them aloud to yourself, express with gratitude with your loved ones or write them down on your journal.

More Gratitude Practice Exercises –  Access here.  

Think
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” – William Shakespear
•    What’s happening?
•    What am I reacting to?
•    What am I thinking and feeling?
•    What are the words that my mind is saying?
•    Is this a fact or opinion?
•    What’s the bigger picture?
•    Is there another way of looking at it?
•    What would someone else see and make of it?

CExperiences Practical Exercise: Daily Self-Worth Exercise

Take 1 daily Self-Worth Building Exercise to learn how to look at things or situation from a fresh and different perspective, how to have growth and adaptive mindset, learn more tips, techniques and strategies from Cyndi so you can keep building those self-worth synapses in your brain to increase your self-worth and critical thinking skills. 
More Self-Worth Exercises –  Access here

Help
“We know you’re strong, but it’s okay to ask for help. Accepting help is its own kind of strength.”
•    What is best thing to do right now?
•    Best for me, for others, for the situation?
•    What resources can I draw on and what else do I need?
•    Who can I reach out to and ask for help? 

CExperiences Practical Exercise: Write down your HELP list and CONTACT List

If You Are Having Trouble Thinking Of Ways To Help Yourself, Try One (Or A Few) From This List:

Address Your Basic Needs
•    Drink a glass of water.
•    Take a nap.
•    Take a shower or bath.
•    Eat a healthy snack.
•    Have enough sleep.

Process Feelings
•    Journaling.
•    Draw/Paint how you’re feeling.
•    Make a gratitude list.
•    Punch a pillow.
•    Let yourself cry.

Mood Boosters
•    Read the story of someone you admire
•    Watch a funny YouTube video
•    Get active – go out for a walk, run, dance or just move your body the way you like it!
•    Play with an animal
•    Watch a movie you loved when you were younger
•    Reorganize your room
•    Make a list of places you want to travel

Problem Solving
•    Make a list of solutions to problems – it can help to brainstorm with a friend of family member.
•    Make a list of your strengths. 

Volunteering/Acts of Kindness
•    Do something nice for someone you know.
•    Help a stranger.
•    Volunteer your time.

Ask for Help 
•    Text a friend.
•    Ask someone to just sit with you.
•    Call a family member or a friend.
•    Talk to someone you trust.
•    Join like-minded groups and connect with positive supportive people (You can Follow our ‘CExperiences’ Facebook pageInstagramMeetup and join our FB private group ‘CExperiences Tribe’ )
•    Seek Professional Help. Ask Cyndi and see how she can help you.

Next time, when you’re feeling frustrated, angry, resentful or experiencing any negative emotions, how do you RESPOND to it?

Find your P.A.T.H.!

If you like this “Find your P.A.T.H. (Pause, Accept, Think, Help)” Technique and want to find out more, take the CExperiences Self-Worth Accelerator Online Course to learn anywhere, anytime NOW! 

Have questions? 

Book a chat or Email me to see how I can help you.

Cyndi Liang is the certified Results Coach and qualified NLP Practioner, she offers 1-1 coaching, group coaching, workshops, online courses and also lots of practical tools, effective techniques and strategies to help you create FAST and LASTING RESULTS.

“No matter what you want to achieve, it’s a well-known fact that you’ll always get there faster with support.”

Reach out anytime, anywhere. We’re here for you!

Book a call with Cyndi NOW

#16 How to Set Boundaries without Guilt

Raise your hand if you struggle with setting boundaries or enforcing them? 

💥 Do you have a hard time standing up for yourself? 
💥 Do you keep agreeing to do things that you really don’t want to do? 
💥 Do you tolerate rude comments or pushy people because you can’t handle conflict? 

Umm….Still not sure? 

Here are some signs that your boundaries need adjusting:

  • Feel unable to say no
  • Feel responsible for others’ emotions
  • Concerned about what others think to the point of discounting your own thoughts, opinions and intuition
  • Your energy is so drained by something that you neglect your own needs (including the need for food, rest, etc.)
  • People-pleasing
  • Avoiding intimate relationships
  • Inability to make decisions
  • Believe your happiness depends on others
  • Take care of others’ needs, but not your own
  • Others’ opinions are more important than your own
  • Have difficulty asking for what you want or need
  • Go along with others vs. with what you want
  • Feel anxious or afraid
  • Not sure what you really feel
  • Take on moods or emotions of others around you
  • Overly sensitive to criticism

I get it…i mean, it’s draining to constantly put everyone else in front of your own needs selflessly.

And when you give so much…it just makes you feel so resentful because you’re not validated, not appreciated and couldn’t tell others when you need or want. 

But let’s face it… it’s not their fault! It’s yours, because you don’t have boundaries…

And do you know what the sad truth is?

 

🔑 NO BOUNDARIES = LOW SELF-ESTEEM 

BUT the GOOD NEWS is:

You just need to know how to 🔑 UNLOCK Your SELF-WORTH, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF and LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD!

“To set healthy boundaries with others, you must be able to set them with yours” – Cyndi Liang

Knowing how to set boundaries is a lifetime SKILL that needs to be learned, applied and adjusted.

What Are Boundaries?

Boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits.

Why is it important to Set Boundaries?

A lack of boundaries is like leaving the door to your home unlocked: anyone, including unwelcome guests, can enter at will. On the other hand, having too rigid boundaries can lead to isolation, like living in a locked-up castle surrounded by a mote. No one can get in, and you can’t get out.

  • Emotional pain: guilt, resentment, dependency, depression, anxiety,
  • Physical pain: stress-induced physical illness
  • Loss of respect from self and others
  • Loss of control of the direction of your life
  • Increased chaos, distractions.
  • Loss of interest in life.

Creating healthy boundaries is empowering, they help you:

  • Define Your Identity
  • Protect Yourself from the control of others
  • Express your true self and protect your self-esteem
  • Have more respect from others and maintain self-respect

Build healthy relationships and a life with love and freedom.

Different Types of Boundaries

  • Physical Boundaries (you are entitled to your space, however wide it may be, as are others)
  • Intellectual Boundaries (you are entitled to your own thoughts, opinions and ideas, as are others)
  • Emotional Boundaries (you are entitled to your own feelings to a given situation, as are others)
  • Social Boundaries (you are entitled to your own friends and to pursuing your own social activities, as are others)
  • Spiritual Boundaries (you are entitled to your own spiritual beliefs, as are others)
  • Time Boundaries (you are entitled to your own time, as are others)

 

Are your boundaries Rigid, Porous or Healthy?

A person who always keep others at a distance (weather emotionally, physically, or otherwise) is said to have rigid boundaries. Alternatively, someone who tends to get too involved with others have porous boundaries.

HOW TO SET HEALHTY BOUNDARIES WITHOUT GUILT?

STEP 1: DEFINE YOUR DESIRED BOUNDARIES

Tip 1. Ask what are your rights and needs?

Exercise: Completing the following 3 sentence with at least 10 examples.

1. WRITE YOUR “NO” LIST

People may not ___________________.

For example:

  • Go though my personal belongings
  • Criticize me
  • Make comments about my weight
  • Take their anger out on me
  • Humiliate me in front of others
  • Invade my personal space
  • …….

2.  WRITE YOUR “YES” LIST

I have a right to ask for ___________________.

For example:

  • Privacy
  • A new hairstyle from an old stylist
  • Help around the house
  • More info before making a purchase
  • Quiet time to myself
  • Personal space
    …….

3.  WRITE YOUR “SELF-LOVE” LIST

To protect my time and energy, it’s OK to _________________.

For example:

  • Take my time returning calls or e-mails
  • Change my mind
  • Cancel a commitment when I’m not feeling well
  • Be treated with respect
  • Make my needs as important as others
  • Not meeting other’s unreasonable expectations of me
  • Say no without feeling guilty
  • ……

Tip 2. Follow your gut.

Your instincts can help you determine when someone is violating your boundaries or when you need to set one up.

Check in with your body (heart rate, sweating, tightness in chest, stomach, throat) and feeling (e.g. frustration, anger, anxious, resentful) to tell you what you can handle and where the boundary should be drawn.

For example, maybe you clench your fists when your partner used your laptop without asking for your permission. Or you tighten your jaw when your relatives ask about your dating life.

Tip 3. Determine your values.

Who are you? What do you value? Once you get clear on what matters most to you, then you can take the bigger step of communicating this to others. Instead of creating your boundaries around a difficult relationship in your life, you must make your boundaries about you.

Use the CExperiences “5 Steps to Discover Your Core Values” Worksheet to determine your values.

STEP 2: COMMUNICATE YOUR BOUNDARIES

Tip 1. Be assertive

 

You can be assertive by using “I statements.”

 

I feel ____ when _____ because ______________________________.

What I need is _________________________________________________.

Tip 2. Learn to say no

You can say no without an explanation and without providing any emotional labor to the person you’re saying it to. You can start with a simple “No thanks”, don’t debate, defend or over-explain.

Tip 3. Safeguard your spaces

You can also set boundaries for your stuff, physical and emotional spaces, and your time and energy without necessarily announcing it, too.

3 Questions to Ask Yourself to strengthen your invisible shield

  • How much of this is true about me?
  • How much of this is about the other person?
  • What do I need to do (if anything) to regain my personal power or stand up for myself?

 

Tip 4. Get support 

If you’re experiencing challenges with setting or asserting boundaries, or if someone is causing you difficulty by crossing them, never hesitate to reach out to professionals, other family member or friends for support.

Cyndi Liang is the founder, Certified Coach & Qualified NLP Practitioner at CExperiences.

If you need help with improving your communication skills, conflict management skills or strengthening your boundaries, contact Cyndi to see how she can help you!

STEP 3: STAY SIMPLE

It might be daunting to communicate your boundaries and stand up for yourself at the beginning, but you can start with something simple to boost your confidence, increase your self-esteem and cultivate self-respect.

 

The boundary being crossed is ____________________________________________.

The action I will take is __________________________________________________.

A list of boundaries to start with:

☐ Say no – to tasks you don’t want to do or don’t have time to do.

☐ A Simple “No thanks”, don’t debate, defend or over-explain.

☐ Be direct, firm and gracious.

☐ Say thank you with no apology, regret or shame.

☐ Ask for help.

☐ Delegate tasks.

☐ Protect your time – don’t overcommit.

☐ Ask for space – we all need our own time.

☐ Speak up if you feel uncomfortable with how someone is treating you or your needs are being infringed upon.

☐ Honour what is important to you by choosing to put yourself first.

☐ Drop the guilt and responsibility for others.

☐ Share personal information gradually and in a mutual way (give and take).

STEP 4: SET CONSEQUENCE

Why is it important to you to maintain this boundary?

  • Your Time
  • Your Emotions
  • Your Energy
  • Your Values
  • Other reason: ___________________.

 

Create your own Personal Mantra as self-affirmation:

 

I set boundaries to ____________________________________________.

 

e.g. “I set boundaries to feel safe.”

“Setting boundaries is an act of self-love.”

What to do when facing boundary challenges?

The challenge that you’re facing now:

“I want to_________________, but________________.”

For example:

☐ Feel guilty or anxious

☐ Feel selfish (you don’t feel you have right)

☐ Feel embarrassed

☐ Fear of being ignored

☐ Fear of rejection

☐ Fear of abandonment or loss of love

☐ Fear of confrontation

☐ Fear of insecurity

☐ Dependant on others

☐ Childhood experiences

☐ Cultural conditioning

☐ Lack of self-awareness

☐ Lack of knowledge, skill, practice or experience

 

If you’re experiencing challenges with setting or asserting boundaries, or if someone is causing you difficulty by crossing them, never hesitate to reach out and seek professional assistance.

 

Also, defining and asserting your boundaries can get even trickier if you or a loved one lives with mental illness, depression, anxiety, or a history of trauma.

 

If you need help with the above or want to improve your communication skills, conflict management skills or to strengthen your boundaries, contact Cyndi to see how she can help you!

Cyndi is the Founder, Certified Coach & Qualified NLP Practitioner at CExperiences.

Cyndi’s coaching vision is to guide, support, challenge and empower you to grow by analysing your current situation, identifying limiting beliefs and other potential challenges and obstacles you face, offering you a fresh and different perspective, and devising a custom plan of action designed to help you achieve specific outcomes in your life.

“5-Stage” Model to Increase Your SELF-WORTH

#15 Ten Things Men Do that Kill their Self Esteem

Is this you?

You would rather talk about anything other than how you feel. It’s not that you don’t want to – I know you do. But our society is such that guys are taught “real men” don’t talk about self-worth.

One of the most common reasons men seek out self-worth coaching with me is to gain help with improving their self-esteem so they can become more confident, being able to understand and express their emotions and feelings. 

What is self-esteem?

At its core, self-esteem is an emotional evaluation of a person’s self-worth. It’s how a guy views, thinks and feels about himself. This evaluation usually occurs by comparing oneself to others, including peers, family members, and friends.

Men’s self-esteem 10 killers:

(Some of these may seem obvious. Others may cause you to pause and think. I encourage you to read them all in context with your own life.)

 

1. Buying into toxic masculinity
Whenever you program your mind into believing that men “must” behave a certain way, you literally place a chokehold on your self-worth.

Examples include:

  • Believing guys shouldn’t talk about how they feel.
  • Thinking that you aren’t a man because you experience periods of self-doubt.
  • Assuming that real men don’t experience sadness, shame, and depression.

2. Relying on alcohol has a social lubricant

Examples include:

  • Depending upon alcohol to interact with friends.
  • Needing to down a few shots before going out on dates.
  • Regularly drinking alcohol before bedroom activities.

3. Clamming up when it comes to how you feel
Examples include:

  • Experiencing a major loss and pretending it doesn’t affect you.
  • Minimising past hurts, such as physical, emotional and/or sexual abuse.
  • Always using humor as a shield against what’s going on deep inside.

4. Playing negative mental tapes

Examples include:

  • “I’ve always sucked at interviewing. Why will things be any different this time around?”
  • “Who would want to be with me – I’ve got nothing to offer.”
  • “I hate myself because (fill in the blank).

5. Unchecked body image issues
Examples include:

  • Not going to the gym because we think we’re “too fat” to be around a bunch of bodybuilders.
  • Thinking that to be a man, you’ve got to have a six-pack and giant guns.
  • Unfairly comparing your physique to other guys who have completely body types.

6. Denying mental health issues
Examples include:

  • Not seeking help for depression because “guys don’t do that”.
  • Pretending your anxiety isn’t real and that you can magically handle it.
  • Equating mental health issues with a “sickness”.

7. Learned helplessness
Examples include:

  • Not doing cardio because, in the past, it didn’t generate results. You believe this even though you previously only gave it a half-hearted effort.
  • Not acquiring new skills in a given area because, in the past, you’ve experienced failure.
  • Never trying anything new because you’ve already determined you suck at it – based on some event from your past.

8. Isolating

I’m talking about avoiding others because you don’t want people to see how crappy you feel.

Ongoing isolation can lead to (or worsen) depression. When you throw in point number 4 from above, it doesn’t take long to see how self-esteem ends up in the toilette.

9. Addiction

Abuse happens when you rely on marijuana to get through the day. Addiction occurs when you can’t function without taking a toke. 

If you are abusing drug to interact or escape from serious mental pain, you are killing your self-esteem.

10. Blaming others 

If you struggle with your self-worth, it’s easy to blame others for the crappy things that have happened in your life.
Here’s the real deal – blaming will only get you so far.
I agree. This isn’t easy and may require that you engage in various self-worth sessions to truly accept yourself and others.

If you are engaging in any of the behaviors described above, it’s likely damaging your ego; the middleman who lives in your heart and mirrors out what’s locked inside.

I have had clients who reached out to me to help them improve their self-esteem, to learn how to open up and to be a more confident man; and they wished they had known all the techniques, strategies, skills and mindset that I shared with them earlier.

👉 Need 1-on-1 Support?

I’m Cyndi Liang, qualified NLP Practitioner and  Self-Worth Coach at CExperiences. I can help you unlock your self-worth, reduce stress and anxiety, release emotional blockages, live a balanced life with love, joy, courage, financial freedom and fulfillment. 

💕 For a limited time, I’m offering a FREE 30-min 1-1 self-worth session. 
Book it now
 to secure your FREE spot and start building your self-worth now!

#14 Self-Worth and The Courage to Pause

“We’re a culture of people who have bought into the idea that if we stay busy enough, the truth of our lives won’t catch up with us”  – Brené Brown

Ooops! I did it again…

I had a long to-do list in front of me, and writing to you is one of them, although I planned to do it last week among many other things…

Not sure if you’re feeling the same (let me know if you are). I have been on an emotional roller coaster lately. I was feeling anxious, stressed, overwhelmed and had lots of resistance and guilt coming up to me, even though I want to do more and help more people.

I spoke to a friend whom I am very grateful for questioning me at that time “Cyndi, why are doing this to yourself?” followed by “Why do you have to do it now, why can’t you take a break and do it later? You can’t take care of others if you can’t take care of yourself!”

“This hurts!” But so true!

Busyness hurts, and so does realising we are caught up in it. But let’s face it – That is a culture that has raised us to believe that our worth is in how much we achieve and how much we do.

We live in a fast-pace and very achievement oriented society that has us tapped into a system that is all externally referenced. We’re taught to look outside ourselves and compare with others to see if we’re doing okay. And all the systems outside of us are organised according to what degrees do you have, how much money do you have in the bank, what kind of achievements have you racked up? And so most of us have this internal programming that is, if I’m not striving to do more, if I’m not achieving enough than therefore I’m not valuable, if I’m not working, then I’m wasting time and I would feel guilty about it. And that really doesn’t serve us because it has most people overworking. And it generates a constant underlying feeling of not being enough, which is pretty devastating to the way we feel about ourselves and the way we live our life.

But do you know that Your worth is based on who you are, not based on how much you do?

Do you know that rest, self-care, good sleep and healthy lifestyle are also very important? When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.

Have you heard of the 80/20 Rule that says that 80% of our results are caused by 20% of our actions? Sometimes less is more, we can work smarter, not harder.

SO HOW DO YOU FIND SELF-WORTH AND THE COURAGE TO PAUSE?

After taking a nice relaxing break to rest and recharge in the last few days, I’m feeling much better, energised and motivated with joy and inner peace, and I’m actually singing along  as I’m writing to you now. =)

I want to share with you some coping strategies that I use so that you can also practice self-care, self-acceptance, self-compassion and develop “self-worth muscle”.

1. Focus on your Breathing
Take a “purposeful pause” of just a few minutes, focus on your breath, body and mind.
How is your breathing right now? How does your body feel? Are there any tensions anywhere? What are your thoughts and feelings and what is your attitude towards them?

You do not need to change anything, it is not at all a question of feeling better or different, but simply of being aware and observe your thoughts and feelings passing in front of you, accept them all in a non-judgmental way.

2. Daily Routine to Practice Mindfulness
Finding one or more routine moments in your daily lives to “be all here”, using a playful, experiential approach, like:

  • Drinking your first tea/coffee in the morning, paying attention to its preparation, the aroma, the sensations on the hands holding the cup and the ones linked to the taste; the lingering flavour in the mouth, the sipping process;
  • Opening your front door on the way to work, or the office door on the way in (focusing on body movements, then zooming in to the hand, the sensations on the skin, and widening to any feelings, thoughts or even sounds);
  • Walking on the street, paying attention to the sensations under our feet, the pace, the surrounding environment.

3. Digital Detox with ‘54321’
Put your digital devices away and get back to nature (e.g. cloud spotting, walk to a park, water your plants, stargazing…etc)

  • 5. Look for 5 things you can see
  • 4. Feel 4 things you can touch
  • 3. Listen for 3 sounds
  • 2. Smell 2 things in front of you
  • 1. Taste 1 of these things.

Take a deep breath in and enjoy being in the present moment. Life is full of abundance!
All of these suggestions ultimately help you remember to take care of yourselves, simply recognising that you are worth it.

Yet this is only possible if, on one hand, you are able to foster a friendly, caring attitude towards yourselves, for example by asking yourselves a few times a day what it is that you really need right now; and on the other, if you are willing to find the courage to pause, to have a short break, a few seconds of silence – sometimes even just a breath.

You are allowed! You’re already 100% worthy…

Much love,
Cyndi

👉 Need 1-on-1 Support?

I’m Cyndi Liang, qualified NLP Practitioner and  Self-Worth Coach at CExperiences. I can help you unlock your self-worth, reduce stress and anxiety, release emotional blockages, live a balanced life with love, joy, courage, financial freedom and fulfillment. 

💕 For a limited time, I’m offering a FREE 30-min 1-1 self-worth session. 
Book it now
to secure your FREE spot and start building your self-worth now!

#13 How to Move Up the Emotional Scale

What are Emotions?

I once heard that “Emotions” are “E-Motions = Energy in Motion”. I think this is beautifully put.

In itself, emotional energy is neutral. It is the feeling sensation and physiological reaction that makes a specific emotion positive or negative. Feeling is what you label as anger, sadness, joy or fear. It is then your interpretations or thoughts about emotional energy that give it meaning. Emotion serves as the carrier waves for the entire spectrum of feelings.

Understanding that emotions are energy implies that they are fluid, moving resources meant to be felt and released vs. suppressed and ignored. The latter is the true culprit of low emotional intelligence and stress burnout.

Before we look at the different tips and techniques for moving up this emotional scale, there are several things that you need to understand about feelings and emotions:

  • Emotions and feelings are influenced by our thoughts and perceptions.
  • We tend to suppress our feelings, and suppressed feelings lead to anxiety and depression.
  • Feelings are contagious.
  • We are all entitled to have feelings. Feelings simply exist. We are all human, and we all sometimes feel jealousy, hatred, frustration, irritation and other negative emotions. There is no need to blame yourself for these feeling because this way you will only create even more negative emotions. Just accept that you feel what you feel and get ready to turn the negative energy into positive energy.
  • Bad feelings lead to even worse feelings. But good feelings create better feelings. This is the concept of upward and downward spirals. We will talk about this as you read more below.

Why Emotions and Vibration Matter?

From a law of attraction standpoint, your emotions are like a compass that point you straight towards the fulfillment of your deepest desires.

Your vibration matters because the law of attraction is ALWAYS attracting things to you that match your vibration.

Simply stated, if you feel good you’re in an awesome high vibrational place, allowing all the goodies of life to come your way. If you feel bad, then you’re obviously in a lower vibrational state, resisting the goodies.

I believe that understanding your thoughts and emotions is step one to becoming the creator of your own reality and taking your life back.

This does not mean that you have to be happy all the time or that feeling negative emotions is somehow wrong or bad. Ups and downs are a natural flow of life. And we can’t even have good feeling emotions without the contrast of the “bad” ones. But wouldn’t you prefer to be up more than down? I think yes.

How to Identify Emotions?

The Emotional Guidance Scale created by Abraham Hicks is a super valuable tool that demonstrates how, through baby steps, you can move up the emotional scale one emotion at a time. It has all the common emotions listed from high vibration to low vibration (top to bottom).

The scale looks something like this…

Emotional Scale

The idea is that you can use this knowledge to your advantage and always reach for a slightly better feeling emotion, no matter where you are on the scale at any time! 

One-by-one, you can climb your way up the emotional ladder in small, manageable steps.

“Just like when you set your radio tuner on 98.6, you can’t hear what’s being broadcast on 101 FM: Your frequencies have to sync up. So, the frequency of your desire and the frequency of your day-to-day thought about your desire have to be on the same vibrational wavelength. And how do you know when it is? It feels good to think about it.”

— Abraham Hicks

How to Decode Emotions?

Exercise:

1. Ask yourself “When was the last time I feel emotional?”

In that situation, what happened? When? With who? How? 

2. Check your thoughts: 

  • What did I think or imagaine at that time?
  • What went through my mind?
  • What did that say or mean about me or the situation?

3. Check your Movie Mind:

  • Is there any movie (past experience or future projection) running in my head?
  • What’s the emotional trigger (Immediate default reaction)?
  • What is it about that trigger? (e.g. childhood experience)

4. Check your Emotions / Feelings

  • What emotion did I feel at the time?
  • How intense was that feeling? (0-10)

5. Check your Physical / Body sensations

  • What did I notice in my body?
  • What did I feel?
  • Where did I feel it?
Body sensation

How to Manage Emotions?

How to Move Up the Emotional Guidance Scale?

Emotional Scale 2

Here are 3 simple but powerful techniques for moving up the emotional scale.

1. Priming the Scale

The morning is a magical time; you have a blank slate to work with as you first emerge from the unconscious world of sleep. Therefore, what you think and feel during these early moments can have a huge impact on where you lie on the emotional scale throughout the day.

Find something to be grateful for as soon as you wake up. Focus on it for 1-2 minutes before getting out of bed. Connect those feelings of gratitude toward your intention to manifest what you want, and let excitement and enthusiasm flood your body.

On a side note, the morning is also an excellent time to engage in spiritual activities like meditation, creative visualisation, or yoga. If you can set aside 10-20 minutes for one of those activities, you’re starting the day as far up the emotional scale as possible.

2. Balancing the Scale

You can’t avoid encountering at least a small amount of negativity in the world each day; whether it comes from someone with a bad attitude or from a devastating story in the news. And, as you know, you do attract what you emit and you’re emitting at least a degree of negativity when you encounter these things.

Using the Law of Attraction doesn’t require you to deliberately blind yourself to all negativity to the point that you’re entrenched in denial. While it is, of course, important to create a positive environment internally and externally, it’s useful to acknowledge the existence of negativity so that you can deliberately and purposefully balance the scale of what you are manifesting.

Since positive feelings, beliefs, and thoughts hold so much more power than negative ones, even simple exercises can serve as scale-balancing. For example, try taking just 10-15 minutes per day to intentionally reflect on things that are only positive. You can do this any way that feels right; whether you visualise wonderful memories, focus on upcoming events, or write down lists of things that make you happy.

Regardless of your approach, you should quickly start to see the scale turning; more positive things and events will likely come your way.

3. Maintaining Your Place on the Scale

There are also little things you can do throughout the day to reduce your chances of sliding back down the emotional scale. In particular, it’s crucial to take breaks from the demands of work, family, and society in order to quiet your mind and reconnect with the present moment.

As you’ll know from reading common Law of Attraction success stories, mindfully anchoring yourself to the present reliably accelerates the manifestation process.

Try taking simple breaks of 1-2 minutes every couple of hours. Commit to focusing purely on your breathing during these interludes. Breathe deeply, inhaling from your diaphragm and filling up your lungs. Then slowly and gently exhale as you feel your body relax.

If you’re already used to practicing mindfulness exercises, you might prefer to spend 1-2 minutes on your breath and then a further 1-2 minutes connecting with all of your bodily sensations and systematically relaxing any tense muscles you encounter.

Regardless of its deceptive simplicity, this type of exercise helps you disconnect from external stressors and builds the type of resilience that keeps you at a reliably productive place on the emotional scale.

Want More?

Cyndi Liang is the Founder, Certified Self-Worth & EQ Coach, Counsellor, EQ Assessor, NLP Practitioner at CExperiences.

Cyndi’s Specialised Areas:

🌟 Self-Worth Confidence Coaching 
🌟 Emotions Counselling & Coaching
🌟 Communication/Social Skills Coaching
🌟 Relationship Counselling & Coaching
🌟 Depression/Anxiety Counselling & Coaching
🌟 Abuse Counselling & Coaching
🌟 Conflict Resolution/Anger Management Coaching
🌟 Addictions Counselling & Coaching
🌟 Loss and Grief Counselling & Coaching
🌟 Self-Esteem Counselling & Coaching
🌟 Mental Health Counselling & Coaching 
🌟 Life Transitions Counseling & Coaching

Book a FREE 20-min Call with Cyndi now to find out how she can help you!

More Resources

31 Days Self Worth Workbook

In my 31 Days Self-Worth Workbook, I share my methods and self-worth building practical exercises to help you move up you emotional scale and unlock your self-worth step-by-step, day-by-day!

This life changing workbook is a journey of remembering where your true power lies. You’ll learn how to co-create the life you want. You’ll accept that life can flow, that attracting is fun, and that you don’t have to work so hard to get what you want.

It includes:

👉 31 x Practical Exercises – 67 pages and 5 Weeks of self-worth building exercises, self-reflection and empowering learnings for loving yourself year-round.

👉 Proven methods — Grow with daily exercises based in positive psychology, mindfulness, and other effective methodologies.

👉 Personal space — Worksheets with the simple layout and blank lines, so you can write directly on the pages; and inspiring quotes add a little boost of courage.

👉 Chart a course — Follow the Workbook from beginning to end, or pick your favorite Self-Worth Building Exercise to practice on a daily basis.

Grab your FREE Copy (Week 1 with 7 practical exercises) Now! – Limited Time only

#12 Living Life On Your Own Terms

When I reflected on my past on the day of my birthday, I realised that I have been pursuing freedom my whole life.

  • The freedom to follow my passion and joy when I was a little girl;
  • The freedom to come to Australia by myself to pursue my dream and lifestyle;
  • The freedom to travel and explore different places and experience different cultures;
  • The freedom to say no and set boundaries in a relationship;
  • The freedom to fly an aircraft and being up in the sky;
  • The freedom to be independent financially;
  • …..

But, I’m still not getting 100% freedom. There is still something there, something that is holding me back and keep me trapped.

Until this year I have done lots of work and dig deep on myself, and I realised that freedom comes from within.

It comes from being true to myself, living life on my own terms and accepting and loving myself unconditionally.

Living life on my own terms means having purpose and fulfillment in my life, as well as having freedom and flexibility to do what matters most to me.

You might be thinking, “Well, everyone wants to live life on their own terms, but how?”

 

【Quick exercise】

Here is a quick exercise with 7 tips to help you start living life on your own terms.

1. Visualise Your Dream Life

It starts with knowing what you want your life to look like. What are some of the dreams you have for your life? Who are you? Who do you want to become? What did you always want to do when you grew up? Why are all of these important to you?

Take some time to consider what your ideal life would be if money and time were not an issue.

2. Consider where you are

After you dream a little, next you want to consider reality. What are you doing currently? Is what you are doing moving you closer to those dreams and goals? Or are you stuck?

Take a few minutes to assess your current situation.

3. Think about the past

Next, think about the past. What have you tried in the past to get closer to your goals? Maybe you’ve tried a party plan business to earn some extra money. Or perhaps you attempted launching your own clothing business.

Consider whether your past efforts have worked and whether they have helped you get closer to your ideal life.

4. Assess your options

Now, assess your options. What can you change in your current situation that will help you get closer to living life on your own terms? Do you need to consider a career change? Restructure your family’s schedule by cutting out extra activities so that you have more time together? Perhaps you need to find a way to earn extra income so that you can pay off debt.

Brainstorm a list of potential options. Don’t edit yourself or assume you can’t do something – just write down everything that pops into your mind.

5. Talk to others

Next, talk to someone else who is living life on their own terms. It is helpful to get the perspective of someone who is already where you want to be. This is why it’s important to start with what you want your life to look like.

It will be easier to identify others who are living the way you want to be if it’s clear in your own mind.

Or you can book a value call and have a chat with us. 

My coaching vision is to guide, support, challenge and empower you to grow by analysing your current situation, identifying limiting beliefs and other potential challenges and obstacles you face, offering you a fresh and different perspective, and devising a custom plan of action designed to help you achieve specific outcomes in your life.

6. Make a plan

Once you’ve done a “brain dump” of ideas, and you’ve talked to others who are living life on their own terms, you’re ready to make a plan. It’s unlikely that you can create the life you want overnight. You may need to make a 6-month plan, a 12-month plan or a 5-year plan, depending on how far away you are from that goal right now. But if you don’t write it down and create a plan, it’s not going to happen!

Once you’ve created an overall plan to live life on your own terms, break it down into 90-day goals and objectives. This makes it less overwhelming and easier to accomplish.

7. Take action and find an accountability partner!

Finally, take action! If you don’t start, you’ll never create the life you long for. You’ve got to start taking steps towards your goals each and every day in order to make it happen. It helps to have an accountability partner (e.g. life coach) or a team to support you along the way.

When you team up with others who are also working towards living life on their own terms, you’ll be much more likely to stay motivated and find success.

What is NLP

#11 How to Use NLP to Change Your Life?

Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if you had a deep understanding of how and why people do what they do – how they think, feel, communicate and behave?

How would this affect your ability to lead people, parent your children, connect with your partner, communicate with friends, family or colleagues or succeed in your business?

After learning about Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and applying its powerful set of tools, techniques and ways of thinking, I have learned how to:

  • Get a greater awareness of myself and others and gain a better understanding of how I have created my own internal reality;
  • Communicate more effectively with everyone I meet with confidence, clarity and a deeper connection in every context of my life and business;
  • Pick up on subtle cues in people’s language and behaviour, build rapport, ask precise questions get to the heart of understanding and meaning;
  • Access emotional resources of my choosing, amplifying them and permanently anchor them;
  • Decode the strategy and inner-game behind all behaviour so that I can replicate excellence and change unhealthy habits;
  • Become a credible, reputable and professional Life and Business Coach and empower my clients to make rapid and lasting change with my skills, experiences, aptitude, perspective, emotional intelligence and a proven methodology and framework.

So, Are you ready to Learn More about NLP and Use it to Change Your Life?

FIRST OF ALL, WHAT IS NLP?

Well, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a set of tools, techniques and ways of thinking of how we communicate, both with ourselves and others.

NLP is first and foremost a communication model.

It is a model of how we operate, and function given our mind-body-emotion system.

It is a model of how we map or model “information.”

It is a model of the structure of resourcefulness so we “run our own brain” and manage our own states.

It is a model of the structure of excellence, so we can replicate genius.

NLP is really the emergence of a new leading-edge model about:

  • How to manage and run your own brain and mind more effectively.
  • How you represent your own experiences in a way that make them seem real.
  • How to map the world so that you can align your objective experience in the world with your subjective experience.
  • How to manage your moods and state experiences so you have them and they do not have you.
  • How to develop effective models and strategies for your life’s desires.

Most people learn NLP, because they aren’t satisfied with the results of their habitual ways of processing – mindset, emotions, and behaviours. They want to achieve more, do more, have the skills to connect more deeply with others, be more confident, motivated and self-assured. Be more influential with others and have more impact in the world.

So, if that is something of interest for you too, keep on reading 🙂

NLP COMMUNICATION MODEL

NLP Comms Model

NLP maps the structures of the ego and shows us how it is created and maintained. From there it examines how we get ourselves in the way of doing what we already know how to do. In my experience, most people know what they need to do to progress, they just aren’t doing it. The reason they aren’t doing it is because they are letting their ego get in the way.

At the heart of NLP is the NLP communication model. This model is what we call a near-concept model. It models and teaches us so precisely how we function and re-present the world and those in it, to ourselves.

This model maps out and distinguishes the real world from our (subjective or mapped out) interior world.  It shows us how we are running representations (movies) about reality and that we are not experiencing the actual reality itself. A big statement!

A bigger one is in our own experience we are working with and dealing with only our fantasy or imagination of the world.

The basic premise of NLP, as a model of human functioning, is – that people work perfectly well, that they have all the resources that they need, and that any problem they have isn’t them, but with their programming, habits or frames of mind.

NLP PRESUPPOSITIONS/PRINCIPLES

An example of one of the most famous and significant, coined from Alfred Korzybski- (science and sanity 1933) is:

“The map is not the territory, it is but a symbolic representation of the territory.”

All perceptions are based on a facsimile representation. It is not reality. All perceptions can be said to be accurate in as much as they are based on the internal representations from which they are derived. They are also all incomplete and may or may not accord with the represented territory (reality).

Very often, we deal with a map of reality, not reality itself – however the map is not the territory. And so we abstract reality by thinking and feeling something ABOUT reality, and we can do this upon thought and feeling forever. The more we do it, the further we get from reality. The further we get from reality, the larger the gap, the greater the emotion we can experience.

NLP TECHNIQUES & TOOLS

NLP works from the philosophy that your thoughts and beliefs affect your quality of life. If you challenge your thoughts and beliefs, you change your outcomes.

NLP teaches you up to date techniques on how to change your own mindset as well as be able to use these techniques on others.

  • Meta Model Questioning
  • Quadrants
  • State Anchoring
  • Meta States
  • Framing
  • Timeline
  • Strategies and Modelling
  • Well Formed Outcome

All top level coaches use NLP to create the most profound and speedy transformations within themselves and their clients.

Example: How to use NLP to Transform Beliefs

We were not born with the beliefs we now have. Wherever we got them, they came to us as mental understandings of the world. If we bought into them as a child, then we adopted them by osmosis. That means they are really someone else’s map for interpreting and appraising life. If we now find those beliefs limiting and unsatisfactory for our life, then we can alter them.

“The process of changing a belief is relatively easy, as long as you have the person’s consent.” (Bandler and Grinder)

1) First, identify a limiting belief you want to change

If you think about a belief as an understanding that has undesirable consequences to you, then write down some key beliefs. Be sure to include some that you would like to change. What limiting beliefs are you still entertaining in your head that you wish you didn’t?

Finish these sentence stems:

  • “What I believe about myself is … ”
  • “What I believe about people is … ”
  • “What I believe about the world or life is … “”
  • “What belief/s do you have about yourself that you’d like to change”
  • “What belief limits you in some way”

2) Target your limiting beliefs

Note: The beliefs that you now evaluate as junky beliefs which interrupt your best functioning, and which sabotage your development.

For examples:

  • “I can’t learn quickly.”
  • “I can’t control myself.”
  • “I can’t lose weight.”
  • “I can’t relax.”
  • “I can’t be assertive.”
  • “People can’t be trusted, etc.”

3) Note internal representation

How do you represent one of your limiting beliefs in your mind?

Notice that as you think about that belief, what pictures, words, sounds, and sensations strike you?

Identify the most powerful and driving sub-modalities of that belief.

Once you have an awareness of the internal representation of the limiting belief, set it aside for a moment.

4) Identify a solid belief

What do you believe without a doubt? What is one of your solid beliefs?

Do you believe the sun will rise tomorrow?

How do you represent this a solid belief in your mind? What are the key sub-modalities present in your representation?

5) Get a representation on doubt

What are you doubtful about? Think of something you doubt.

Think of something that may be true or may not be. What are you not really sure about? How do you represent this doubt in your mind? What are the key sub-modalities present in your representation?

Doubt is when you waver from thinking something might be true to thinking it might not be true; you just don’t know.

How do you know you doubt something?

6) Make a contrastive difference

How are these phenomena (belief and doubt) different?

Run a contrastive analysis between them. Find the sub-modality differences.

For example: maybe the belief is a big picture, bright, and vivid while doubt is small, dim, and fuzzy. Or the belief may be a detailed picture, straight ahead and fills up the frame while the doubt is general, off to the right and small.

What sub-modalities tell your brain that one is a solid belief and the other is a questionable doubt?

7) Test the sub-modalities

Test the differences, one at a time, to find out which is most powerful in changing beliefs to doubt for you. Make it smaller. Remove the frame from belief picture, make it fuzzy, dimmer. Move from centre of screen to right etc.

8) Elicit a new enhancing belief you want to replace the limiting belief

What would you rather believe?

“I can learn to effectively handle criticism.”

“I believe I can learn to change my eating habits and maintain a desired body weight.”

9) Check for ecology

Suppose you had this new belief, how you would act differently?

As you anticipate it, are there any ways in which this change could be a problem for you? How will this new belief affect your work? Relationships? Skills?

10) Switch content

Switch the old Belief into Doubt. If in doubt you flip your picture off and on, and then let the limiting belief flip in and out. As you recode the belief as doubt, turn down the old content completely when the belief flips out.

At that point, switch to the content of the new belief, and turn it up.

Or, you can have the picture become so bright (or so dim) that the old content disappears. At that point put the new content in and tune the picture back in.

11) Turn the doubt into belief

Take the new belief and reverse the sub-modality changes so that you encoded what you want to believe as a strong belief.

Once you do that, amplify the new belief. Then take a moment to absorb and enjoy this new belief.

12) Test

Break state for a moment.

Think about this new belief. Do you now believe it? Think about the old belief? What happens?

Where does your brain go?

WHAT IF I WANT TO KNOW MORE?

Ready to improve your communication?

Ready to improve your relationships?

Ready to improve your life?

Ready to know more about NLP?

Ready to change your life for the better, build deeper relationships, overcome your fears and find the clarity you’re looking for to realise your potential?

Simply Sign Up to the CExperiences Life Coaching Program to Get Started!

CExperiences Life Coaching Program

Part 1: NLP (Choose how you’d like to run your own brain!)

An introduction to the NLP Communication Model as a blueprint for the human system, an exploration into identifying meta programs as habituated thinking patterns to discover leverage points of change.

Part 2: High Quality and Effective Communication (Improve the quality of your relationships!)

Learn how to develop interpersonal skills as the keys of high quality communication. You’ll learn the art and skill of being fully present to another human being by learning how to truly listen, build and maintain rapport, and how to ask powerful questions that get to the heart of things.

Part 3: States and Meta States (Master your emotions and be present in every moment.)

Learn how to work with the reflexivity of the mind, reorient your thinking and feeling, change your relationship to reality. This will enable you to transform your beliefs, enhance your state and expand your perspectives for a vastly different experience of reality and quality of life.

Part 4: Trance and Timelines (Unleash your potential and step into new and exciting possibilities!)

Get an introduction in how you can use hypnotic language, focusing on creating higherlevel inductions for facilitating resourcefulness, let go of baggage in the past and set unfailable goals for the future.

Part 5: Strategies and Modelling (Be Influential in your life and embody excellence!)

Track the flow of human mind-body responses that create a behavior with Strategies & Modelling. Learn how to identify, unpack, and replicate strategies of excellence and learn conversational reframing patterns to increase your persuasiveness and influence.

 

Some of the benefits that can expect from program include:

  • Learn to run your own brain – and help others run theirs
  • Manage your own moods, attitudes and states (eg. when public speaking, asking for a pay rise or having difficult conversations)
  • Effectively manage conflict – create healthier interactions
  • Skillfully manage outcomes and agreements (getting the outcomes you want)
  • Achieve high levels of Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
  • Create effective rapport with significant others – deepen and accelerate relationships
  • Develop growth in terms of your worldview (capacity to hold more perspectives)
  • Effectively engage and collaborate with significant people in your personal and professional life
  • Lead and influence performance through the creation and sharing of powerful meanings
  • Learn to facilitate outcomes through asking powerful questions that get directly to the heart of the matter

Schedule a Discovery Call with Cyndi

Let’s have a chat and see how I can help you.

My coaching vision is to guide, support, challenge and empower you to grow by analysing your current situation, identifying limiting beliefs and other potential challenges and obstacles you face, offering you a fresh and different perspective, and devising a custom plan of action designed to help you achieve specific outcomes in your life.

I’m here for you if you need me.

    Anchors of my life

    #10 How to Improve Self-esteem and Build Confidence

    First of all, I want you to know that “You are worthy of so much love, including your own, and you have so much love you’re willing to give!.”

    And remember, you can’t give what you don’t have.

    It’s no one’s responsibility but your own, to fill up your love tank.

    Let go of any attachment that it’s up to someone else to love you. It’s so much more fulfilling when you learn how to do this for yourself.

    Then, once your tank is full, anything that overflows is the extra you give away!

    Give yourself permission to tell yourself that “I am good enough, I’m loved and I’m worthy.”

    Signs of Low Self-Esteem

    ❌ Negative outlook
    ❌ Lack of confidence
    ❌ Inability to express your needs
    ❌ Focus on your weaknesses
    ❌ Excessive feelings of shame, depression, or anxiety
    ❌ Belief that others are better than you
    ❌ Trouble accepting positive feedback
    ❌ Intense fear of failure

    CExperiences Tips

    Give yourself persmission to accept and love yourself.
    “I AM ENOUGH.”
    “I AM LOVEABLE.”
    “I AM UNIQUE.”
    “I AM FEARLESS.”
    “I AM STRONG.”
    “I AM BEAUTIFUL.”
    “I AM KIND.”

    ✅ 1. Be nice to yourself. 
    (“I truly and completely love and accept myself.”)

    ✅ 2. You do you 
    (“I don’t need to compare myself to other people. This is me/ That is you. What comes from me is mine. What comes from others is theirs/not mine. I am not responsible for their thoughts, feelings, actions. I am not what they say about me. I am who I am.”)

    ✅ 3. Get moving
    (“I enjoy moving my body the way I like it. I enjoy exercises/dancing/running/walking. I can feel the endorphins, the feel-good hormones. I am feeling great!”)

    ✅ 4. Nobody’s perfect 
    (“I am not broken. I am perfectly imperfect. I am enough.”)

    ✅ 5. There is no ‘failure’, only feedback of information 
    (“I am becoming the better version of myself, but with patience, with compassion and respect to my own journey.”)

    ✅ 6. Focus on what you can change
    (“Today I choose to do______. I believe that I can do______. I will do______.”)

    ✅ 7. Do what makes you happy 
    (“I enjoy doing_____. I love doing_____. I am amazing and awe-inspiring in these ways______”)

    ✅ 8. Celebrate the small stuff 
    (“Tick! Woah, I did it! Well done! I am awesome!”)

    ✅ 9. Be considerate and helpful to others 
    (“I understand you. I hear you. I am here for you.” When you’re helping others, you’re helping yourself.)

    ✅ 10. Surround yourself with a supportive community 
    (“Life is full of abundance and positive energy when I’m growing and evolving with so many beautiful, supportive, caring and lovely people in the CExperiences community.”)

    Be Confident, Be Courageous, Be Curious!!!

    What is CExperiences Self-Love Confidence Coaching?

    What I offer

    • One-to-One Coaching with Cyndi (In Person at Sydney or Online)
    • Group Coaching Workshops

    My coaching vision is to guide, challenge, support and empower you to grow by

    • Analysing your current situation,
    • Identifying limiting beliefs and other potential challenges and obstacles you face,
    • Offering you a fresh and different perspective, expertise, tools and techniques;
    • Devising a custom plan of action designed to help you improve self-esteem and gain more confidence.

    I completely tailor our coaching topics based on where you’re at in your life and what areas you need the most help with.

    This gives you a totally personalised solution for the best possible results.

    The CExperiences Self-Love Confidence Coaching Program is designed to create rapid and lasting change in your your relationships, emotions, business/career, wealth, health and life.

    Click at the ‘Learn More’ button below to find out more about the following: 

    👉 How to Get Started

    👉 My Style Of Coaching

    👉 Tools and Techniques

    👉 What You Will Achieve

    👉 Why I Can Help You

    👉 Will it Work For Me?

    10 Major Signs You Need a Life Coach NOW:

    #1 — Feeling shameful, guilt, unworthy

    #2 — Lack of Confidence 

    #3 — Loneliness and isolation

    #4 — Feeling sad and depressed

    #5 — Feeling Needy and always want to have a company

    #6 — Anxiety And Stress Are Recurring Themes

    #7 — Lack of courage to live a life true to yourself

    #8 — Limiting Beliefs Have Been Holding You Back (e.g. Self doubt, Low Self-esteem, Low Self-worth)

    #9 — Anxiety And Stress Are Recurring Themes

    #10 — Want to be more confidence but don’t know how

    If any of the above sounds like you, it may be time to look into hiring a life coach.

    Why Everyone Needs a Life Coach

    #9 Why Everyone Needs a Life Coach?

    Do you know that coaching is the second-fastest growing industry in the world, only second to the IT industry?

    You may have seen friends or family hire a life coach, and wondered ‘What is a Life Coach?” or “Can a life coach really change someone’s life?”

    If you’re skeptical about the title of my blog post and you’re thinking, “I don’t need a life coach,” or “Why hire a life coach which will cost me both money and time?” I don’t blame you, I used to ask myself similar questions  as well…

    • “Someone to help me on my life journey?”
    • “Do I really need fixing?”
    • “What does this life coach know that I don’t?”

    and then one day I took a leap of faith and signed up for a coaching program, my life has never been the same again. It has been the best decision and best investment I have ever made for my personal growth and business/entrepreneurship development.

    I have gained so much confidence, clarity and productivity and now on a path to be the better version of myself and grow my CExperiences Life Coaching Business.

    Below I will explain how it has changed my life and why I think everyone should have a life coach. If what I shared here resonated with you, let’s connect, have a chat and start your life transformation journey. If you are on the fence or need more time to think about it, no problem at all. At least you’re stopping by my website, reading this blog post, being open about it and considering life coaching as a possibility.

    New Life Old Life Transformation

    So, what is a Life Coach?

    Life Coaching is a profession that is profoundly different from consulting, mentoring, advice, therapy, or counselling.

    A life coach is a partner, someone who’s there for you to guide you through and help you grow by analysing your current situation, identifying limiting beliefs and other potential challenges and obstacles you face, offering you a fresh and different perspective, and devising a custom plan of action designed to help you achieve specific outcomes in your life.

    A life coach helps you…

    ✅ Get crystal clear on what you really want in your life;

    ✅ Uncover what’s holding you back from achieving your vision for yourself;

    ✅ Empower self-discovery and growth by asking the right questions and utilising the right tools and techniques;

    ✅ Take effective action steps to achieve your vision by supporting you and keeping you accountable;

    ✅ Use coach’s expertise to modify goals as needed.

    These aspects of the process all work together to allow you to maximise your potential, inspire and empower you to transform your passion and desire into action and live a life true to yourself with confidence, love, fulfilment, joy and freedom.

    “Life coaches are there to push you to change your life for the better.”

    “Think of us as bottle opener – we release your potential!” 

    “Life coaching removes the interferences that stands between clients and the achievement of their potential.”

    What’s the Difference Between Life Coaching and Therapy?

    Here are the most common differences:

    Life Coaching V.S. Therapy

    Where Are Your Right Now?

    Here are 15 major signs that you may be in need of a life coach:

    #1 — You Have Trouble Following Through With Goals

    #2 — Limiting Beliefs Have Been Holding You Back (e.g. Self doubt, Low Self-esteem, Low Self-worth)

    #3 — Anxiety And Stress Are Recurring Themes

    #4 — You Simply Don’t Know Where To Begin

    #5 — Your Finances, Health, Relationships, Career Or Business Is In Complete Disarray

    #6 — You’re Unable To Define A Clear Vision

    #7 — The Passion You Once Had For Life Is Gone

    #8 — You Have A Vision, But No Clear Plan

    #9 — You Get Easily Distracted and Sidetracked By Time-Wasters

    #10 — Your Friends And Family Aren’t Supporting Your Dreams

    #11 — You’re Completely Lost And Feel Like a Failure and All Hope Is Gone

    #12 — You’re at a Turning Point and Making a Major Transition in your Life

    #13 — You want to find out the Purpose and Meaning of your Life

    #14 — You want to find Courage to Live a Life True to Yourself, not a Life Expected by Others

    #15 — You want to Shift your Mindset, learn more Tool and Techniques to Create Changes in your Life and Become the Better Version of Yourself

    If any of the above sounds like you, it may be time to look into hiring a life coach.

    All kinds of people use life coaches, including actors, business leaders, entrepreneurs, executives, professionals, motivational speakers, small business owners and start-up pioneers. These people all identify a gap between where they are and where they want to be, and turn to coaching when they want help overcoming their fears and limiting beliefs, reaching their goals, seeing more growth, and unlocking a meaningful and fulfilling life.

    We tend to avoid what we fear most doing. For example, one of my biggest fears is public speaking. Ironically it is these feared actions that generally lead to our goals being accomplished and our dream life becoming a reality.  Working with a life coach through powerful coaching conversations has helped me understand my meta-programs (pattern, habitual behaviors), identifying my communication model and primary representation system, using techniques and mental tools to find my peak state and overcome my fears, taking actions and making progress consistently and building confidence to speak in front of the camera or a group of people.

    How Will a Life Coach Help Me?

    Source: nicolascharlet.com

    Many people think that they don’t need help and that they can do everything by themselves. But, if you take the example of any great athlete or successful people, they never got things done alone; instead they turned to a coach and/or mentor who guided them, saw them strive, fail, progress, and strategised together the next actions that would eventually lead to their ultimate success.

    This is exactly what a talented life coach will do for you – unlock your potential and work with you to create an action plan that will enable you to achieve your goals without wasting any excess time or money.

    “No matter what you want to achieve, it’s a well-known fact that you’ll always get there faster with support.”

    Life Coaching is right for you if you want to…

    ✅Find your Core Values and Feel It From Deep Within You

    ✅Clear your Emotional Baggage and Build your confidence

    ✅Pinpoint your Purpose and Passion in life and Find your True Path

    ✅Create Professional, Personal growth, Wealth and Health plans

    ✅Define a Vision for Success and Achieve Your Goals by Taking Effective Action Steps

    ✅Overcome your Limiting Beliefs and Fears

    ✅Work toward Financial Independence

    ✅Obtain Work/Life balance

    ✅Learn to Communicate more Succinctly and Effectively

    ✅Foster more Powerful Connections Professionally and Personally

    ✅Learn How to Start a new Business or Growing an Existing one

    ✅Manage an Important Life or Business Transition with Courage and Confidence

    ✅Have a Growth Mindset and get Mental Tools and Techniques to reach your goals quickly and succeed.

    ✅Step out of your Comfort Zone and take your life to the next level

    ✅Own your Life by design instead of by default and Live the Life You’ve Always Wanted for Yourself

    ✅Find your True Happiness, Joy, Inner Peace, Fulfilment, Love and Freedom

    ✅Get Clarity, Motivation, Guidance, Insights, Accountability and Support

     

    One of my top goals has always been to expand my mindset, to grow and develop myself to take my results to the next level. Having a life coach has inspired me to dig deep and understand my core values, empowered me to start my CExperiences Life Coaching Business, created a plan of action to make things happen and provide more values to others, become the better version of myself and also support and help others reach their full potential and live a life they truly love.

    How it Works?

    So, if you are interested in having a life coach or want to find out more, simply follow these steps to start your coaching and life transformation journey NOW!

    Start Your CExperiences Life Transformation Coaching Journey

    What Today’s Biggest Names Are Saying

    Many of the most successful people have had life coaches and continue to receive support. You can only benefit from the services a life coach has to offer, and you will get to where you want to be more quickly when you have someone to lean on as an accountability partner for guidance, insights, empowerment and support.

    Tony Robbins

    While working as a part-time janitor at 17 years old, Tony Robbins was broke, barely making $40 a week. Looking to change his life, he splurged on a $35 three-hour seminar with personal development coach Jim Rohn. 

    “It turned out to be one of the most important investments of my life.”

    “He gave me a way of looking at life that allowed me to not ask life to be easier, but to ask that I be better. He got me to realise that the secret to life was to work harder on myself than my job or anything else, because then I’d have something to give people. And he really shaped me.”

    Oprah

    Oprah Winfrey

    “I remember the very first time we had a life coach on the show. She shared with our audience a list and, literally, in the audience women booed her when she said put yourself at the top of that list. [What she meant was] put yourself at the top of the list and nurture yourself, honour yourself, stop the crazy mind chatter in your head that tells you all the time that you’re not good enough.”

    Serena Williams

    “Life is so much bigger than tennis. It’s the basic things in the little steps of life that we overlook. You should be the happiest person alive, because that’s a gift in itself and Tony (life coach) helped me realize that.”

    Bill Gates

    Bill Gates

    “Everyone needs a coach. We all need people to give us feedback. That’s how we improve.”

    Ready to Achieve Real Results and Change your Life?

    I’m Cyndi Liang, Founder, certified Self-Worth Results Coach, EQ Assessor and NLP Practioner at CExperiences.

    Book your FREE 30-minute session with me now and see how I can help you.

    My coaching vision is to guide, support, challenge and empower you to grow by analysing your current situation, identifying limiting beliefs and other potential challenges and obstacles you face, offering you a fresh and different perspective, and devising a custom plan of action designed to help you achieve specific outcomes in your life.

    Ask Yourself: If Not Now, When?

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